Ministry of Zero

My first post in 2024!

It's been a long, long, long time I actually posted something which is not a recap, short story, or travel summary. I actually want to write something about life and how I view it for today.

It's a short post, I think.

It's the 13th day in 2024 and I have been taken on a roller coaster of mixed emotion. Is it good? Is it bad? At this very moment, I would not say it's the best moment to record in 2024 -- considering January is usually one of my favorite months of the year.

How would I put it in words?

You know when you really, really want something,
and you cannot have it but, eventually, with time and effort spent, you finally get it?
And, yet, one day, you're told that you can't have it anymore,
which makes you really sad that you don't want to let it go.

Some said it's attachment issue.
We should not be to attached to another thing or person or environment.

I agree. 100% agree.

Being kind does not mean you sacrifice yourself for others.
Being happy does not mean you should make others happy when it gives you unhappiness.

Yet it's very understandable for us to grieve and question ourselves:
Why should we let it go? What did we do wrong for this to happen?
How could we prevent or stop this from happening?

We try to tie things down when it might only hurt ourselves.
We are unable to answer those questions because we feel like it's the best to keep how things are at the moment.

Oh well, give it some time, people said.
You'll learn to let go.

Okay. Minutes turn to hours, hours turn to days.
You think to yourself, I still can see it anyway.
It's still there but not completely mine.
It's better than nothing.

However, it makes you wonder.
If spending time and effort back in those old days make you able to achieve it,
why couldn't it work again after you let it go?

Maybe you should repeat it again.
The time.
Maybe you didn't do it enough.
The effort.

Who could tell us that maybe it's not the problem.
That sometimes things are not meant to be.
That maybe the future seems bleak now but it might shift to clearer sky soon.
That there are better things are in store for you.

No one could tell us that.
Sorry, everyone can tell us that, but we would never listen to them anyway.
We believe what we want to believe when we're grieving.

You wish things stay the same.
Because you feel that it's the best that you can have.
Because you feel that if you put more time and effort, things might change.

And yet the change might not be for the better.

But it's natural for us to be sad, to feel broken, to ask for understanding,
to wish for things to stay the same,
because, somehow, the feelings we have from the start,
poured into the actions and words you have given in every second thinking about it,
they stay in your heart.

It never fades away.

Endlessly.

End of 2023.
365 days have passed and we have reached the last day of the year.

I'm writing this as I'm counting down the hours to midnight and welcome 2024.

Before I start my recap, I'd like to point out 2 points here:

1. This is the 15th year I'm writing the recap of my life in a year here.
The format has changed from time to time but, hey, I'm keeping this as an annual 'ritual' -- it's also a way for me to remind myself to be grateful that I have lived through 12 months.

For  previous references: 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 

2. Despite how normal life has been since the pandemic COVID-19 hit, the world is currently in sorrow due to the international conflict. I don't have any credibility to address this but I sincerely hope that peace will be the ultimate endgame for the conflict.

Time ticks. Shall we begin?
Oh, I will use a new format in this year's recap as I write in the title "Best...".

01 | JANUARY

Best day to remember: starting my first day of the year in a different city: Bandung. I drove back to Jakarta at noon and, wow, I gained the first experience of sleeping at a rest area due to how heavy my eyes were on the way back.

Best first experience: Staying overnight at a friend's house (Brenda's!). I never stayed at a friend's house because I could always manage to go back to my house instead (which is true). I also tried a self-photo studio at Seori after I got my haircut! It's an interesting concept to try,

Best trip: 1-night trip to Bandung from Purwakarta on 6-7 January. Oh, well, I visited Cilegon, Purwakarta, and Tangerang a lot during 2023. I even had a one-day visit on Saturday to the site, all for work purposes, of course.

Best meetup: After years, I finally met with my old friend, Matthew, on 28 January. He finally returned from Australia so we met up with some others at Grand Indonesia. And, this time, I picked him up instead of the other way around! HA! But I asked him to drive anyway, lol.

Best movie/TV series: I only watched 2 movies in January so I should give it to "A Man Called Otto"! It's a heartwarming one for you to enjoy.

Best song: "Kokoronashi" by Majiko. I still listen to it and I also like the cover version I found on Spotify by Akane.

Notable mention(s):
- Best haircut: After 5 years, I decided to cut my hair short again (well, shoulder length). Decided to cut it on 21 January, a day before Chinese New Year, at Atelier by Ryoji.
- Best supporting moment: Attending an event at the National Library to support a friend who has a website launching.
- (Not the) best incident: I lost my phone(s) at Grand Indonesia on 28 January. One was charged next to me, another in my (unzipped) bag which was also next to me. Unlucky on a good day. Something to remember indeed.

02 | FEBRUARY

Best day to remember: A full work team dinner on 10 February. I think the team has grown in numbers ever since I joined 4 years ago so having everyone attend the first dinner of the year feels nice.

Best first experience: Attending a travel fair! I never actually attended one. I purchased two tickets to Hong Kong for me and Mom on 4 February at the Cathay Pacific Travel Fair. I think(?) we got a pretty good price: 6.2mio for 2 pax.

Best trip: Sentul Trekking! Thanks to Yoanna for persuading me to try the new experience. It's a short trip as I am not exactly a nature-type person, lol. It's Saturday well-spent indeed, as we met up with other friends afterwards in Gading Serpong. We have a good level of energy, right?

Best meetup: Karaoke time on 5 February with some friends from my previous workplace. It's a (good) chaotic one. Would be great to have another day of karaoke with you guys again in 2024.

Best movie/TV series: Without a doubt, "Missing". I have always liked "Searching" so when I found out that an (indirect) sequel would be released, I couldn't wait to watch it and, dang, it didn't fail my expectations! Well, the day when I was going to watch it was also pretty memorable as things happened here and there before the movie.

Best song: "Like Strangers Do" by AJ Mitchell. It's a song recommended by Spotify and, hey, turns out I actually like it!

Notable mention(s):
- Best art moment: Visiting ART Jakarta at Hutan Kota by Plataran on 12 February with my colleague, Bunga. It's actually a day before I started my 3-week stay in Tangerang due to my work schedule (you know if you know).
- Best birthday: I delivered a birthday cake for Valent on her birthday, 28 February! Despite being friends for years, this is the first time I actually ever delivered a birthday cake on D-Day.

03 | MARCH

Best day to remember: Birthday moments for Loki as it's his 2nd birthday on 24 March! My little brother has his 25th on 12 March also.

Best first experience: This is something I will also describe in the 'best trip' section but the winner for this is going back and forth to Bandung twice in a week (21 March evening until 23 March morning, then 24 March evening until 27 March morning). Oh it's not Jakarta-Bandung but Purwakarta-Bandung.

Best trip: So, yeah, as you can expect: Bandung. It's the fasting month so it's nice to have less crowded tourist destinations at Sarae Hills and Orchid Forest! Oh, funny thing, we were waiting for lunch and we accidentally met Lala, a colleague, when we were not planning for a meetup. Such a coincidence!

Best meetup: Met up with the 'oldest' friend of mine, Chris. Received the Singapore souvenirs and also a Harry Potter chocolate! When you have fellow Potterhead as your good friend... such a blessing!

Best movie/TV series: "Ted Lasso" Season 3. I mean, it's Season 3 and I'm still watching it so... It's very recommended!

Best song: "KANATA HALUKA" by Radwimps takes the crown for March. I watched the movie and, albeit it's not my favorite movie from Makoto Shinkai, this song is really beautiful!

Notable mention(s):
- Best work/life balance moment: 11 March. Worked at Starbucks on Saturday for hours, accompanied by Valent before we had late lunch and dessert with Brenda afterwards.
- (Not the) best moment to remember: My uncle (oldest brother of Dad) passed away. I'm not exactly the closest to him but it does feel heartwrenching -- always, when coming to the funeral house.

04 | APRIL

Best day to remember: April Mop and the 12th day are actually the days I would remember the most from April 2023 due to a lot of things that happened on both days. Oh, and it's the Easter month!

Best first experience: Attending bukber / buka bersama with client during my work schedule in Cilegon. I've been to an iftar session with friends and colleagues, but it's the first with the client!

Best trip: Bandung makes it to the list again, lol. It's another short trip as it's the Idul Fitri holiday week. I managed to visit new restaurants/cafes during this trip. Is it just me or Bandung does have a lot of interesting places to visit?

Best meetup: 22 April with friends from my very first workplace. Been a while since we gathered so we had lunch at PIK before taking a bunch of pictures together.

Best movie/TV series: I only watched one movie this month and it was "Sewu Dino" on 29 April. Definitely not the best movie I'd recommend but I did watch it with my friends from my previous workplace -- we also watched the movie from the same universe last year.

Best song: "First Love". The original is by Utada Hikaru but I listened to Chaewon's cover, at least, 50 times this cover. This song has always been one of the best love songs to enjoy. Fun fact, do you know that Utada Hikaru released this song back in 1999?

Notable mention(s):
- Best buy: AirPods Pro. Bought it at iBox Cilegon. It's actually my best buy of the year! I'm actually using it right now!

05 | MAY

Best day to remember: 9 May. The (first) Go Live. Work-related thing.

Best first experience: As usual, always try at least one new thing on your birthday. I tried a new cinema in Cilegon on my birthday (yes, I'm not in Jakarta or at home on my birthday). Oh, and also a new hotel, I guess.

Best trip: Actually, May is a pretty busy month for me, so I don't exactly have a trip here and there, so I think Cilegon is my best shot for this category in May? Haha.

Best meetup: Talked with an old friend on 6 May (also the day I exchanged 250SGD which I have no idea where they are right now, lol).

Best movie/TV series: Despite the controversy and all the negative receptions, I actually enjoyed "The Little Mermaid" movie. Not in my top 10 best movies of 2023 but I prefer this to "Fast X".

Best song: "Part of Your World". I mean, I watched the movie on my birthday and it's a beautiful song!

Notable mention(s):
- Best birthday moment: Realizing that my wisdom teeth made me feel unwell on my birthday, lol. But, of course, all the birthday wishes and presents made me feel so much better and blessed!

06 | JUNE

Best day to remember: Taylor Swift announced her concert in Asia! The closest one is in Singapore and we needed to pre-register just to buy the ticket.

Best first experience: Bowling! My team work had a gathering on 23 June and we tried bowling. As usual, I am never good with sports and ball and any physical activities, lol, but it's really fun!

Best trip: I know it keeps repeating in this year's recap (I do not expect it will be this often though) but I needed to use my leave as it would be reset by the end of June so I took the chance for (another) short trip to Bandung. This time I took the train there!

Best meetup: Meetup after my wisdom teeth operation and eating something is always the best! Also got a cake from these girls. Thanks a bunch, you!

Best movie/TV series: Definitely "Spider-Man: Beyond the Spiderverse". I watched the first in streaming channel and I have never been a big fan of animated movies and watching them in cinema but this one made me think otherwise.

Best song: "Blue Jeans" by Gangga. I actually listened to the AI version of Justin Bieber on YouTube but instantly fell in love with the song!

Notable mention(s):
- (Not the) best moment to remember: 2nd and 3rd wisdom teeth pulled out on 2 June! This time my face was swollen so bad and took more days to recover compared to the 1st in 2020.
In 2nd place, it's also the moment it was announced that I got a 'free' ticket for One OK Rock concert in Jakarta. Why I don't really want to remember it? Apparently the ticket I purchased for the 2020 concert (which was cancelled due to the pandemic) could be used to watch the OOR concert in 2023 but... I was in Hong Kong on the date! Speaking of choosing 'perfect' timing. Pfft.

07 | JULY

Best day to remember: Taeyeon's concert! The Odd of Love in Jakarta on 22 July. It's been years since the first time I watched a concert but this is the first time I actually purchased a ticket so close to the stage and I have zero regret!

Best first experience: Taeyeon's concert! Yes. My first experience watching SM vocalist counts, right? lol

Best trip: Traveling to South Jakarta after a meetup with a friend. I took the train here and there for a day on 9 July. I actually liked to enjoy solitude time once in a while.

Best meetup: Karaoke and meetup with my Gemini trio! Got some stuff from Turkiye too from Dewi!

Best movie/TV series: July is, like, the best month for movies.
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning (MI7). Barbie. Oppenheimer. The Childe.
Watch them all, you people.

Best song: Other than Taeyeon's songs (because I listened to them before the concert), I was listening to "Runaway" by Tiffany Young (also SNSD member) so often in July!

Notable mention(s):
- Best comeback moment: Passport making! Yes, my passport has expired so I finally registered to issue the new one on 28 July.

08 | AUGUST

Best day to remember: 9 August. The (second) Go Live. This time in Purwakarta.

Best first experience: Professional photoshoot experience on 24 August. The make-up and hair-do were provided so I could get some headshots for work. I forgot to bring my Batik to change though.

Best trip: I know this is getting repetitive but, yeah, I had another visit to Bandung on 4 August noon - 7 August morning; we drove to Purwakarta from Bandung for work afterwards, leading to the 9 August, the big day. We managed to walk on the Rengganis Suspension Bridge which used to be the the longest suspension brigde in Southeast Asia (it's Situ Gunung now).

Best meetup: Not exactly meetup but it's been a while since the last time I actually gathered with my work team so the Townhall on 24 August at office is a good moment to mention here!

Best movie/TV series: "Blue Beetle", the first movie of DCU. Basic plot but good execution!

Best song: "8 Letters" by Why Don't We. I really love the acoustic version!

Notable mention(s):
- Best fitness moment: Decided to sign up for gym at Anytime Fitness; I signed up here before back in 2019. 4 months have passed and I hope I will be more active there in 2024. HEHE.
- (Not the) best moment to remember: Another breach of my CIMB Niaga Credit Card usage. I think this is the 3rd time I made the complaint. I hope this is the last time I needed to be so cautious of the notification and submitted a request to the Customer Service.

09 | SEPTEMBER

Best day to remember: FY24 Assurance Management Conference. 21-22 September 2023. I attended the 2-day event at Kota Baru Pahrayangan.

Best first experience: Disneyland! It's my first Disneyland visit and it's to Hong Kong. The best amusement park experience ever, especially the magical closing event with all the fireworks and the colorful castle. Now I want to visit all Disneylands in the world. Manifesting, no?

Best trip: Okay, to be fair, the trip is 28 Sept - 2 Oct but, anyway, let me mention it here. Hong Kong / Macau Trip with my Mom! Although I don't think I will visit there again unless it's necessary but visiting a new country is always a new way to celebrate life!

Best meetup: Boardgame with the bunch of friends (Hani, Yuka, David, Pras, Lili, Frendy) and exchange stories before one of us will be relocated to another city.

Best movie/TV series: "Concrete Utopia". Might be the best Korean movie I watched this year aside from "The Childe". Oh I also watched "Summer Ghost", a short anime movie which is also good!

Best song: "Shirushi" by Luck Life. I've always loved all songs by Luck Life for Bungo Stray Dogs and this one is no exception!

Notable mention(s):
- Best pet moment: I went to Indonesia International Pet Expo again this year on 1 September; bought another Air Purifier from Levoit and lots of pet snacks, of course.
- Best art moment: Visiting Van Gogh Alive in Mall Taman Anggrek with Valent. Bought the pre-sales ticket a while back and decided to go there before the event ended.
- Best birthday: Lala's birthday surprise. As we're in Tangerang for work purpose, we met up with Yoanna during lunchtime at nearby cafe to give birthday cake for her.

10 | OCTOBER

Best day to remember: Wali Baterbom! I went to there alone and had a great, thrilling experience of the ride there! Would love to visit another similar waterpark in the future!

Best first experience: Cosplay. HAHAHA. So during my office outing in Bali, the theme is cartoon so I picked Anya Forger from Spy X Family anime. I rented the costume which included the pink wig and, hey, it's a good and interesting experience!

Best trip: Bali. It's my office outing trip and I managed to take the advanced slot; I went to Bali 3 days before the actual outing. The first day was not the best for me because I was feeling unwell but the rest is great!

Best meetup: Random meetup with Monica on 28 October for lunch and art moment (we can be artsy sometimes).

Best movie/TV series: The only movie I watched on cinema in October is "The Exorcist: Believer", the sequel of the famous "The Exorcist". Not a fan of the plot but good jumpscare!

Best song: "Anone" by Alekun and Yuika. This is such a sweet and lovely song to listen!

Notable mention(s):
- Best buy: Actually I'm not sure if it's a best buy yet but, yes, I bought a new Apple device before I returned from Hong Kong: Apple Watch. Not a fan of the battery life but still try to utilize it.
- Best party time: Atlas Super Club in Bali. It's my first time visiting the Beach Club and, do note that I'm not into party stuff, it feels nice to relax and enjoy the evening with friends.
- Best birthday: Luna has turned 11 and she's still the cutest small dog in our house!

11 | NOVEMBER

Best day to remember: Not exactly the best day but I managed to walk 9km for 2 hours from one place to another on 26 November. Never thought I could do that before. Phew.

Best first experience: ChatGPT. I know that I might be late to jump on the bandwagon but I tried ChatGPT (not the premium one though) in November and, now, I often tested the ChatGPT on random stuff such as, "What is the smallest country in the world" and stuff. lol

Best trip: I swear this is the last time this city name will appear here, lol. I have a short trip again to Bandung on travel bus. My trip this time is mostly for food and trial on the haunted house experience though.

Best meetup: Gemini trio meetup to watch The Eras Tour, Taylor Swift's concert movie! Three of us have always been fans of her songs so it's great for us to sing along in the cinemas!

Best movie/TV series: "Daily Dose of Sunshine". A series that break and warm my heart at the same time. I couldn't watch it it one go, not because it's not good -- because it's really good! -- but because my heart needs time to digest it.

Best song: "Too Sad to Dance" by Jungkook. His first album, "Golden" is golden but I don't know why I really like this one!

Notable mention(s):
- Best call: A video call from Brenda on 28 November; she's in Japan, a little bit lost on her way to somewhere, and she called me just to show me Mount Fuji. Okay, got it, I'll visit Japan next year. Amen.
- Best birthday: My 1st younger brother is 30 this year!

12 | DECEMBER

Best day to remember: The days I received chocolate/Christmas presents from friends! You guys are the best! Thanks for making my December even better. Also, 17 December when I managed to meet a person I had been looking for a while.

Best first experience: Christmas in Singapore. It is my first time celebrating Christmas overseas and the decorations are really wonderful!

Best trip: No need to check my gallery because it's definitely Singapore. It's been almost 5 years since my last visit here so it feels good to be back. I will come back again there in 3 months!

Best meetup: I know this month is pretty much dominated by Singapore but my best meetup(s) actually happened in Singapore. The first is with my junior high school friend, Livia, who stays in Singapore for work. Then I also met up with Patricia, a good friend of mine since college days, who happened to be in Singapore with her husband.
Funny how meeting with your friends now can happen in another country, no? Haha.

Best movie: Big round of applause for "Jatuh Cinta Seperti di Film-Film". It's black and white, it's romance, and it's full of dialogue, but I dare to say it's my favorite movie of 2023.

Best song: It's the song that I'm currently listening to while writing this recap: "Watashijyanakattandane" by Riria. The title translates to "It's Not Me". I love the song that I think I have listened to it like 50 times today (it's on repeat!).

Notable mention(s):
- Best relaxation: Nano Reflexology! Been years since the last time I visited here (no thanks to the pandemic, again). I went there 2 days after I returned from Singapore and, phew, it feels good!

Wow, I actually managed to finish the recap before midnight!

2023 has been a roller coaster of emotions, surprises, and changes for me.
There are great days, good memories, and not-so-wonderful moments that happened during the past 365 days but, nevertheless, I'm glad I lived through the days.

Hoping 2024 will be a better year for all of us!
Have a blessed year ahead, everyone!

My first post of 2023!

I swear I miss writing yet I keep finding myself making up reasons not to write.
Well, I'll have two posts this month: one for a quick update of my 2023 so far -- because the details will be unveiled by the end of the year, as always. Another one is for a short story inspired by one of my favorite songs.

This one will be the quick update, as stated in the title.

2023 days seriously went through so quickly -- not as quick as the pandemic though.

I visited Cilegon, Bandung, Purwakarta, and Tangerang a lot this year; mostly due to work.
I completed a project which lasted almost a year.
I met a lot of new people and built new relationships.
I made my new passport; the last one has expired.
I went to new places, including the Hong Kong trip I had with my Mom two weeks ago.
I learned the hard way about having expectations, disappointment, and what's best for us does not always mean the best for others.

Me at HK MTR Station on last day!