Thursday, October 08, 2015

‡ Under The Rainbow ‡

Written by Erlia Eleciel | 1:05:00 AM

When the rain has stopped
You must be waiting there, under the rainbow
All the stories I couldn't say, all the secrets I couldn't reveal
I want to tell them all today.

-

This one-shot is inspired by "U R", a solo track by Taeyeon.




It's an absurd, strange short story.
I don't think I ever wrote anything like this before so I hope you enjoy this simple piece of words arrangement.

 The description above is inspired by the lyrics of "U R".


__________


It's midnight.

She was playing piano.

He was looking at her.

No other sound was heard but the ticking clock and the piano. The beautiful melodies echoed through the night as if only two of them and the music existed in the world.

Then she finished her song.

He unconsciously brought his hands to give an applause, appreciating the play. She turned around to see the guest who had been silent since she touched the instrument.

He couldn't read her expression. She looked like she's surprised to see an uninvited guest at the middle of the night yet he got an impression that she had been waiting for him.

The latter sounded impossible.

"Do you like it?" she asked, smiling warmly to him. It's pretty much a rhetorical question.

"Yeah," he responded shortly, locking his gaze with hers. "It's midnight though. How could you enter this music room?"

His blunt words didn't make her feel offended. A sad smile was formed on her face, "I have my way. Anyway, say, do you know me?"

He blinked, confused. Should he know her? Because he didn't remember her at all. He shook his head slowly, still trying to dig his memories in case they actually had met before.

She let out a small chuckle, breaking their eye contact, "Of course you don't. Of course. I don't know you either, do I?"

It's so strange for her to ask that kind of question but, for an unknown reason, he didn't really mind.

Everything just felt right.


• • •


"They said there's a ghost here."

Her fingers stopped mid-air and the room was silent. She glanced at him but said nothing and neither did he. He continued again.

"They said a student jumped from the cliff. That cliff," he pointed at the closed window in the room. "It's dark right now, but there's a cliff over there."

She didn't show any interest about it.

"It's beautiful there," he continued. "I went there once before the sun set, after the rain stopped. I took a picture of rainbow."

Still nothing from her.

"Do you want to go there some other time?" he asked.

The question caught her off guard. She pressed random keys, producing unidentified music with only one finger, "No."

It felt like he had picked a wrong question but he was curious, "Why?"

She rested her fingers on the keys, finally had the urge to continue the first topic instead, "Did they tell you why the student jumped?"

"No," he shook his head, dropping his gaze. He stared at his left palm as if there's something interesting. "I didn't ask."

Seconds passed as she kept looking at him, waiting for another word to be spoken. He tilted his head slightly, still avoiding her gaze.

"I heard some people whispering when I talked to you at the corridor," he mumbled, feeling uneasy to talk about it. "They said it's strange. Why is that person talking to empty air? They whispered."

Horror was shown on her face. She stood up quickly and he finally looked up to see her. She took a step backward. She bit her bottom lip, clenching her fists.

He knew he shouldn't talk about it.

"Play it again," he requested. "The piano. Everyone can hear it for sure."


• • •


"Do you like rain?"

They were in the music room again, just like where he saw her playing the piano twelve nights ago.

It's raining outside. The room was a little bit colder than usual but they looked comfortable in their clothes. They looked outside through the wet window.

"I like rainbow," she answered, propping her chin on palm. A smile decorated her face, "Don't you?"

He walked to the window, drawing a curve with his finger on the foggy window. He murmured, "Do you think it will rain again tomorrow?"

"Maybe. Why?"

He returned his gaze to her, grinning, "Let's see the rainbow together."

"From here?" she looked confused but, a second later, her eyes widened as she could guess the answer already. "No..."

"Let's go to the cliff."


• • •


It rained again.

When the sun was going to set down, the rain almost stopped.

He walked to the door and opened it. Turning on his heels, he waited for her but she was still hesitating. He didn't ask why and she didn't tell him why.

"Do I really need to go there with you?" her eyes fell on the floor. "It could rain again..."

As the answer, he stepped out, letting the raindrops to fell on his hair. He smiled widely, "But there will be a rainbow that you like."

"That we like," she corrected his statement.

He just stood there, waiting for her to take a step closer to him. She finally did.

One step. Two steps. Three steps.

By each step she took forward, he took a step backward. When her feet had touched the ground, he turned around and walked on a few paces before he stopped again. She still followed him with small steps.

The strong wind was blowing. She was pushed by the wind, losing her balance. She was thinking to give up and returned.

He reached out his hand for her to take. She looked at him, unable to hide her emotion. It's obvious that she didn't want to continue but, when he nodded at her, she took his hand.

He embraced her hand gently, leading her towards the cliff where they could hear the sea already.

The rain had stopped. The gentle breeze blew over the cliff-top. The sun was going to set down.

She carefully took more steps forward, not letting go of his hand. She was near to the edge of the cliff.

He was the one who let go of their intertwining hands first. She gazed at the beautiful view in awe.

"Hey," he called her.

She turned around to see him. He made a rectangle with the thumbs and index fingers. It's as if he's holding a camera, having her in the frame.

"Perfect," he whispered, smiling from ear to ear. "There's you and there's a rainbow."

She gritted her teeth, knowing that she's on the verge of tears already. They're only standing metres away but it felt like thousand of miles already for her.

"I don't want to say goodbye," her lips trembled. A tear had rolled down on her cheek. "We're here already. Again."

He lowered his hands, standing still. The smile didn't disappear, "Then it will be me who is going to say goodbye."

"It's here," he took a deep breath with closed eyes. "The peacefulness of the world. The seven rays are dying the world more beautifully. You're here. I remember.  It's complete."

She cried, "I'm sorry. I... I really am..."

"Don't," he heaved a sigh calmly. "It had been a long journey. We finally met. Why would you apologize?"

"Because I wasn't there to stop you."

"Because you're not meant to stop me," he reasoned. "You asked to see me, you let me remember what I had forgotten, and you're here until my end. You're meant to save me and you did it already. "

Still she cried so hard. "Will we meet again when there's a rainbow?"

"We will," his eyes were so gentle. "Always. Like what we always did. Under the rainbow."

She was not ready for the farewell. She would never be ready for another goodbye. There's nothing good in a goodbye for her even if she could hear him saying it this time.

Both of them knew it's the final one.

After all it's been a year. It's exactly one year today.

Tomorrow all the talk about the wandering spirit would stop. Tomorrow she would hope for another day that could never come.

"Goodbye."

He closed his eyes.

She closed her eyes.


• • •


It's just one second.

She opened her eyes.

The sun had set. The wind was blowing in silence. The rainbow was still there. The words were gone. The wave hit the cliff gently.

Only tears were still flowing.

There's nobody there but her.

 

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Tuesday, September 22, 2015

‡ I'm Fine, Thank You | Memoir of 22.09.15 ‡

Written by Erlia Eleciel | 10:33:00 PM

People tend to forget moments.

You know, the simple moments like being picked up after school, riding on a horse at zoo, welcomed home with favorite food, or just as simple as a 'thank you' message.

None of them sounds special or anything, doesn't it?

It doesn't.

Then again people often remember them later on as regrets.

I am the only daughter in my family and, as the second child, I do have the tendency to put myself as a good one. I mean, trying to beat my smart but lazy older brother, being a good sister for my two little brothers, working to help my family. Sure I am far from a perfect daughter but, hopefully, I'm still trying.

My grandparents from father's side have deceased even before I was born so I never met them. I have no memory about them. Meanwhile, I live with my grandmother from mother's side. My grandfather lived at another place but he often visited us from time to time.

He's tall and strong. He liked to play with my little brothers, taking them around with his motorcycle. However he never ignored me. He would smile to me whenever I called him 'Grandpa' and defended me when I got scolded by my parents. Oh well, I'm not the most obedient kid.

I remember we once went to a zoo and all of us took a picture together: my parents, the four children, and my grandparents. I'm pretty sure it's the only picture we have with complete family members. It's far before the era of Instagram or digital pictures. Can you imagine how precious it is for me now?

Oh, of course no. Not yet, I think. This post is not yet finished.

So, days passed by and each of his grandchildren grew up, of course.

Have you ever heard that sometimes we, the children, keep growing up and often forget that, at the same time, our parents grow old too?

Our grandparents too.

When I was still at college, my grandfather often visited us with a cap; his favorite blue cap. He liked to buy pisang goreng (fried banana) for us. We loved it even if he bought it almost everyday. He always remembered to keep one for each of the grandchildren.

Then years went by and I graduated, and I worked, and I moved to another job. Life got busier and, of course, time waits for no one, doesn't it?

My grandfather finally moved to live under the same roof with me because of his health.

He still liked to walk around just to get some fresh air, but he walked slowly so he would not fall. There's one evening when he walked a little bit farther than usual and returned with martabak. He kept asking if it's delicious: "Grandpa will buy it again tomorrow if you like it."

He really liked to eat the floss bun. He liked to eat sweet stuffs, just like me and my grandmother.

Around this time, I realized that he became so thin. He moved weakly, he talked slower, he did everything differently.

I rarely talked with him or anyone in my house, except my mother. Ever since January this year, I spent most of my life at another city due to work. Let's just say I only spend around 120 days in Jakarta out of 365 days in 2015.

My brother works overseas around the same time and my father just took another job at overseas as well months ago. My first little brother is studying at college and my youngest brother will graduate from high school next year. There were only my mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather most of the time at house.

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months.

You know, sometimes people who have grown old act like little kids. They crave for attention, a little bit too whiny, and do things as they want. I listened to my family's about this when I was out of the town and I calmed them down, telling them that things would turn out just alright.

So last month, when I returned home for three days at mid of August, he's not doing better than I expected. He's so weak that he needed to ask our help to get some water. When I gave him, as always, he'd say 'thank you'. And when I asked if he needed anything else, he'd say that it's fine for now.

The next time I came back, there's no more greeting or words from him. He just laid on his bed, sometimes talked to whoever that wanted to listen to him. With just several days in Jakarta, I only saw him before I left the house to meet my friends or work and gave him another glance when I returned at night.

That's all.

It's 13 September when I wanted to buy his favorite floss bun but my mother said that he's refusing any kind of food at the moment.

It's 14 September when I last saw him sleeping as usual. There's no more 'take care' or 'be careful at another city' like how he used to tell me before I left with my luggage several months ago.

It's 19 September when I decided to buy extra lapis surabaya for him. 'He'd like it,' I told myself. I usually just bought one box for my family but I wanted to buy two of them, bringing them when I return to Jakarta in a week. It's also the time when my mother discussed about bringing him to the hospital for medical checkup.

It's 22 September 2015, almost eight in the morning, when my mother dropped me a message.

He's gone.

My grandfather took his last breath around 2-3AM in the morning today.

Within all honesty, I thought I wouldn't cry. Of all my siblings, I am the one who used to carry the emotions for myself because I don't want to burden my parents. I need to be strong because if I don't do that, who will be their pillar of strength?

Yet I cried my heart out this morning when I listened to my mother.

It's like every memory about him kept replaying inside my head. Each of those simple moments that used to make me smile, everything just returned to me as the tears choked me.

Maybe it's because I was barely at home when he struggled. Or maybe it's because I wasn't there when he's gone. Or maybe it's because I remember that there are only my mother, my grandmother, my aunt, and my little brothers there. Or maybe it's because I feel like I'm a bad granddaughter.

When did the last time I hugged him? When did the last time I smiled at him? When did the last time I actually talked to him?

When did the last time I ever thanked him?

Now I barely could say 'goodbye', 'sorry' or 'thanks' to him.

Grandpa, I don't know how to reach you anymore but I really do love you with all my heart. Each of us does.

For every mistake we did, we're sorry. For every kindness you gave, we're thankful.

Rest in Peace, Kong Kong. We love you.
22 September 2015
from a granddaughter to her beloved grandfather



* * *



I'm listening to "I'm Fine Thank You" by Ladies' Code for the whole day.
It's also a tribute for two young K-Pop idols who unfortunately left the world last year due to a car accident.

It's a sad song but, really, never once I thought I'd cry when I listened to this song until today.

"Just for today, I cry
Be happy forever, good bye"

 

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Saturday, June 27, 2015

‡ To The East ‡

Written by Erlia Eleciel | 11:39:00 PM

Blog post ini dibuat dalam rangka mengikuti Kompetisi Menulis Cerpen “Awesome Journey”
Diselenggarakan oleh Yayasan Kehati dan Nulisbuku.com

 
Link to nulisbuku's article here

__________
To The East


“Taman Nasional Lorentz.”

Aku menyebutkan nama tempat tujuan kami hari ini sambil menunjukkan lembaran foto yang kucetak beberapa bulan lalu dari sebuah situs internet, hari di mana aku memutuskan bahwa tempat di bagian Timur Indonesia ini akan menjadi destinasi akhir tahun kami berdua.

“Luasnya sekitar 2,4 juta Hektar! Tahun 1999, UNESCO mengakui taman nasional ini sebagai salah satu Situs Warisan Dunia. Di sini ada puncak gunung yang diselimuti salju hingga perairan pesisir pantai dengan hutan bakau.”

Aku menoleh ke ibuku dan tersenyum sangat lebar. Informasi yang sudah kupelajari berbulan-bulan lalu lamanya berhasil aku sampaikan dengan baik. Ibuku memberiku tatapan heran dilengkapi dengan tawa khas yang sudah sering aku dengar sejak kecil.

“Sayang, Mama tidak mengerti apa yang kamu jelaskan. UNESCO? Pesisir pantai? Mama hanya paham kalau tempat ini sangat luas,” jari telunjuknya berhenti di foto Pegunungan Salju Irian Jaya yang kupegang. “Dan di sini ada gunung salju padahal Indonesia adalah negara yang tidak ada musim salju. Betul kan?”

Mendengarkan kata-katanya, aku langsung nyengir lebar. Beliau mungkin tidak memiliki minat sebesar aku untuk mengunjungi taman nasional terbesar di Asia Tenggara ini, tetapi ibuku jelas mengharapkan perjalanan yang menyenangkan untuk kami nikmati di hari Ibu ini.

Tepat tujuh bulan yang lalu, dua minggu sebelum hari ulang tahun ke-50 ibuku, aku masih kebingungan mencari hadiah ulang tahun untuknya. Saat sedang melakukan riset kilat di beberapa situs internet, aku mendapat informasi bahwa tanggal 22 Mei adalah Hari Keanekaragaman Hayati Sedunia.

Untuk sesaat aku terdiam di depan komputer, memikirkan definisi dari keanekaragaman hayati yang sudah sering aku dengar pada saat duduk di bangku sekolah dulu. Seolah ada panduan tidak terlihat, aku menutup seluruh situs restoran dan tempat liburan di Jakarta yang telah aku buka. Jari-jariku pun langsung mengetik kata kunci baru untuk ditelaah.

‘Keanekaragaman hayati’.

Hari itu aku diingatkan dan disadarkan kembali bahwa aku hidup di Indonesia, negara yang memiliki begitu banyak ragam makhluk hidup. Aku ingat saat aku pergi ke kebun binatang dengan keluargaku, mengagumi harimau, singa, unta, gajah, dan masih banyak lagi fauna unik lainnya.

Meskipun sudah lama, aku juga masih ingat saat aku diajarkan tentang jenis-jenis makhluk hidup yang tinggal di laut oleh ayahku. Saat itu aku masih yakin dengan adanya keberadaan putri duyung seperti dongeng yang pernah aku baca. Aku juga selalu girang saat melihat beberapa jenis tumbuhan unik seperti putri malu.

Aku tersenyum kecut, bertanya kepada diriku sendiri ke mana perginya rasa penasaranku yang begitu besar; perasaan ingin mengetahui dan mempelajari lebih banyak lagi tentang dunia. Mungkin aku membiarkan diriku tenggelam dalam kesibukan bekerja dan mengabaikan hal-hal lain yang sebenarnya juga penting.

Malam itu aku memutuskan bahwa hadiah untuk ulang tahun ibuku bukanlah hadiah seperti pakaian, tas, ataupun sepatu seperti yang selalu aku beli setiap tahun. Perjalanan ke tempat yang belum pernah kami berdua kunjungi pasti akan menjadi hadiah ulang tahun yang lebih berkesan untuknya meskipun terlambat kuberikan.

Aku adalah satu-satunya anak perempuan dari empat bersaudara sehingga boleh dibilang aku adalah yang paling akrab dengan ibuku. Kakak laki-laki dan ayahku bekerja di luar kota sementara kedua adikku masih menempuh pendidikan; yang pertama masih di bangku universitas dan yang bungsu masih SMA.

Aku mencari tahu satu demi satu taman nasional yang ada di Indonesia, mulai dari yang ada di Sumatra hingga di Sulawesi. Perhatianku sepenuhnya tersita oleh Taman Nasional Lorentz yang justru letaknya paling jauh untuk dikunjungi. Tiket penerbangan ke sana pun tidak bisa dibilang murah. Akomodasi dan fasilitas yang ada pun belum terlalu lengkap.

Setelah mencoba menggali informasi lebih lengkap, aku menemukan tur yang menawarkan perjalanan ke Taman Nasional Lorentz di bulan Desember. Perjalanan yang ditempuh memang akan cukup makan waktu dan tidak semudah jika orang mengunjungi taman nasional yang ada di kota-kota lain, tetapi tekadku untuk mengunjungi taman tersebut tidak goyah.

Ibuku tidak menyembunyikan keraguannya saat aku memberitahu rencanaku. Bukannya dia tidak setuju, tetapi dia tidak mengerti mengapa pulau destinasi yang dituju begitu jauh.

“Mama sudah tidak muda lagi. Yang ada nanti kamu susah mau jalan-jalan tapi harus menunggu Mama. Lagipula kenapa harus sampai ke sana sih? Kan bisa ke Semarang, Medan, atau Makasar saja. Kamu yakin?

Beliau pun akhirnya membiarkan aku mengatur semua persiapan kami berdua untuk pergi. Kedua adikku tidak berkesempatan untuk pergi tetapi mereka akan menyiapkan hadiah lain untuk ibu kami saat kami pulang; mereka ingin merayakan Hari Ibu bersama.

“Ma, capek ya? Mau berhenti dulu?”

Aku menghentikan langkahku dan menyodorkan botol air minum ke ibuku. Dia menghela nafas panjang, “Agak capek sih.”

Kami sudah berada di Taman Nasional Lorentz dan para peserta tur takjub dengan keindahan alam yang begitu sempurna. Saking luasnya tempat ini, sudah pasti tidak mungkin kami bisa mengeksplorasi seluruhnya dalam satu hari.

Aku merasa agak sedikit bersalah saat melihat ibuku kelelahan. Para peserta tur tentunya tidak sabar melihat lebih banyak lagi keindahan yang ada di taman nasional ini sehingga mereka berjalan terus tanpa lelah. Ibuku yang hanya ibu rumah tangga biasa tentunya tidak biasa berjalan kaki sejauh ini.

“Semangat, Ma!” aku menggandeng tangannya. “Setelah ini kita akan ke Danau Habbema untuk mengamati keindahan burung. Di situ kita bisa beristirahat kok!”

Agar dia tetap bersemangat, aku menceritakan tentang Puncak Jaya Wijaya, salah satu puncak gunung yang ingin ditakhlukkan oleh para pendaki. Ibuku selalu mendengarkanku dengan seksama sambil sesekali mengingatkanku untuk mendengar penjelasan dari pemimpin tur yang juga menceritakan detil Taman Nasional Lorentz.

Kami diberitahu mengenai berbagai fauna unik yang hanya bisa ditemukan di Papua seperti Ular Sanca Bulan, Puyuh Salju, dan Kanguru Pohon. Bukan hanya fauna, tetapi ragam flora di kepulauan timur Indonesia pun tidak kalah banyaknya. Kami diberi kesempatan untuk melihat Sarang Semut dan berbagai tumbuhan lainnya.

Tanpa terasa, tur kami di Taman Nasional Lorentz berakhir saat jam menunjukkan pukul dua siang. Ibuku terlihat sangat lelah tetapi pertanyaan pertama yang dia ajukan kepadaku saat kami tiba di tempat menginap kami adalah apakah aku lapar atau tidak.

“Mama lapar?” aku mengeluarkan roti yang aku bawa di dalam tas ranselku. “Atau mau aku belikan makanan lagi?”

Dia menggeleng, “Mama lebih ingin tidur. Mama hanya bertanya karena siapa tahu kamu kelaparan karena terlalu seru berjalan-jalan tadi.”

Mataku mengikuti sosok wanita yang selalu mendampingiku selama dua puluh empat tahun ini. Tanpa berpikir, aku melontarkan pertanyaan singkat padanya, “Mama senang?”

Ibuku berhenti menyiapkan pakaian ganti dan menatapku lekat-lekat, “Senang jalan-jalan tadi? Mama capek sih.”

Beliau berjalan ke arahku dengan senyum di wajah, “Tapi Mama senang karena anak perempuan satu-satunya Mama juga senang.

“Dari dulu kamu selalu senang jalan-jalan, melihat hal baru. Mama selalu bingung harus bagaimana agar bisa mengajak kamu jalan-jalan seperti Papa yang bisa keliling Indonesia karena banyak yang harus Mama urus di rumah, padahal kamu tidak seperti anak lain yang lebih suka belanja ataupun pergi ke taman bermain. Mama hanya bisa membelikan kamu buku supaya kamu bisa melihat dan membayangkan tempat-tempat lain.

“Mama memang capek kalau harus sering jalan-jalan sejauh hari ini. Mama juga tidak mengerti banyak tentang apa yang dijelaskan oleh pemandu tur tadi. Meskipun kamu sudah mencoba menjelaskan ulang, Mama masih tetap tidak mengerti. Mama merasa tidak enak karena kamu sudah belajar begitu banyak tapi Mama tetap tidak bisa sepintar kamu.”

Air mata sudah menggenang di pelupuk mataku saat ibuku membelai kepalaku lembut, “Anak Mama sudah besar sekarang. Bukan Mama lagi yang menggandeng kamu untuk berjalan lebih jauh. Mama senang sekali kok hari ini.”

Ibuku tertawa kecil tetapi aku bisa melihat matanya yang berkaca-kaca, “Terima kasih ya, kamu sudah menunjukkan ke Mama bahwa Indonesia itu sangat indah. Dari dulu Mama hanya tahu kota kelahiran kita, Medan, dan ibukota Jakarta yang padat dan ramai dengan banyak hal. Ternyata masih banyak yang Mama belum tahu. Sekarang, meskipun baru tahu setelah 50 tahun, Mama akhirnya yakin bahwa Indonesia itu memang negara yang sangat indah.”

Ibuku menghapus air mataku yang sudah menetes kemudian mencubit kedua pipiku dengan gemas, “Nanti Mama jadi bisa cerita ke cucu, ke anak kamu. ‘Nenek pernah diajak jalan-jalan oleh Mama kamu. Kamu jangan lupa ya ajak jalan-jalan Mama kamu juga.’.”

Aku memeluk ibuku dan ikut tertawa di antara tangis haruku, “Iya, Ma, iya. Nanti kita jalan-jalan lagi bertiga. Tidak perlu sejauh ini juga tidak apa-apa”

“Masih banyak tempat di Indonesia untuk kita rayakan keistimewaannya.”
☆  END  ☆


 

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