Ministry of Zero

The digital calendar on my laptop shows April 06, 2013 for today.

Even though the countdown to 2014 is too early to do right now, I actually start to think where I will lead myself to before this year ends.

Apparently March has been quite a good yet complicated month for me. Why?

I went to Music Bank in Jakarta on 9 March, referring to my previous post. I got to see almost all of my most favorite K-Pop idols in one night. Live, people, live. It's definitely unforgettable for me!

My little brother had his 15th birthday on 12 March and he will go to senior high school this year. Hooray for him!

I celebrated my first work anniversary on 26 March. Yes, it's been a year since I started to work at my current office. Talking about being comfortable and all with work life, eh?

Meanwhile I also faced three not-so-big turnout of events in March as well. It's not that fascinating but I'm still going to write here anyway. I'm such a stubborn blogger.

First of all, about this passion in working. I mentioned about this before and I'm still unsure with myself.

It's not that I don't like my job; surrounded by good friends, challenged by many questions, facing the different colleagues, and developing my skills as well.

This job is not bad and I'm lucky to have it but... let's just say I'm not fully into it. No, I'm working sincerely every workday but, well, it's like the feeling you got a pretty expensive dress as a present yet it's not your favorite. Kind of like that.

Next is me trying to be more girly. Nahhh, I'm not your typical girl who loves to go shopping for dress, cosmetics, shoes, or doing facial treatment stuff. I'd rather go to bookstores and spend hours on books and writing.

However, as my age increases every year, it's like life has been demanding on changes for me. Perhaps it's just me being paranoid but, well, what can I do when I'm surrounded by friends who grow up to take care of themselves so much more?

My father once said that I was too ignorant with myself. I should take care of my face, hair, body, and all if I wanted to get married one day. My grandmother said somehow the same; possibly because I'm the only daughter in family and I have no interest in spending money for beauty.

I'm turning 22 this year and the frequency of attending formal events increases. Since I'm not really young anymore (this is me telling myself), it's not like girls are good enough to go anywhere for formal events without special features like make-ups and all.

To be honest, I have no idea how to use scotch and mascara. I have no idea why I should use blush or eyeliner. All I really have are just powder and lip gloss (which I rarely use).

Some of my friends have the tendency to do nail arts, body spa, etc that I can't even mention one by one. Sometimes I think whether I should be one or not.

Well, as I'm saying, I need to take a look more about myself. Not to be as girly as girl could be because I'm just failed to be one. Or maybe it's not the time yet.

As for the last one, like what this post title said, I understand a little bit more about sincerity.

What is sincerity anyway? How can I define it in words? Let me try.

Like the feeling when you prepare a birthday surprise for your mother and not even complaining about how much money you need to spend for her without people asking you to do it, it's sincerity.

When you join a charity project just because you want to make the kids smile happily, it's sincerity.

It's like when you help your friend with their overloaded tasks without him/her asking you to, so that your friend would not be stressed with life, it's sincerity.

In my case, it's like loving sincerely.

Not demanding anything at all. Can't hate the person no matter what. Feeling happy that your love finally find someone else which is not you. Tears of happiness when the person smiles for someone else. Praying for nothing but blessings for the person.

It sounds so foolish and stupid, I know, but that's that.

Okay, stop spoiling my silly slice of mind here.

April is here and unexpected things will probably come this month!

Prepare your life for more surprise and live your life to the fullest. ;)

credit goes to here

Today is the last day of February 2013.

It feels like I just wrote my first blog post a week ago but, actually, two months have passed. Ah, time flies, doesn't it?

So, New Year is long gone, January has closed the curtain, the Chinese New Year on February 10 has passed, and Valentine's Day has kissed its goodbye.

We're going to face March pretty soon and, I believe, many surprises are awaiting for us.

What's up with my title?

It's just random topic in mind but I'll try to write it my best to entertain you. I hope so. It's about my opinion and what famous quotations stated.

On March 2, probably I will attend a wedding party of my colleague with my partner.

I'm currently twenty-one years old now; gonna be twenty-two in less than three months though.

Most of my friends already have lovers or, if I might say, their possible partners-in-life.

This fact actually leads question from some old acquaintances here and there, implying that I'm on a state where I should have a candidate as well.

Some quotes stated that love would come when the time was right, but I guess when you just sat still and waited, you had no right to complaint if your expectation didn't fulfill your wishes.

The thing here is I don't have the urge to dive in lovey dovey stuff.

No, it's not a bad thing. It's not that I have trauma or else. It's just that I don't feel it's the right time. Yet.

Sure, I will be attacked by the words 'you'll never know if you don't try' or 'if you don't have the right time, then make it'. I agree with those sentences but I also think that there are times when you're not supposed to force yourself in doing what you don't believe in.

I'm not a kid anymore but I'm still young enough to think carefully about my future. I don't want to rush myself; I'll take my time but, of course, I'm not supposed to waste my time either.

On March 9, I will go to attend Music Bank in Jakarta with one of my best friends.

Some would probably say I just waste my money for temporary entertainment like the popular K-Pop wave around nowadays.

I'm not going to defend myself with words like 'you don't know me', 'it's my hobby, so what?', or 'it's my life so screw you'.

As my alibi, here's one. People have their own choices to make themselves happy.

You may spend your time with books, catch up with movies, shop with friends, enjoy fancy dinner with lovers, go out of the country with family, or else.

It's a necessary that you need to make yourself enjoy your life in a way you can and I choose one of these hobbies of mine as the choice: supporting my idols by attending their concert.

People will not believe if I say the idols have changed my life but it's true and I know it is.

I got to know many new friends, I learned life lessons, and I understood what I should never understood before.

But, well, I guess I just want to have fun?

On March 26, it will mark one year since I started to work in my current company.

It is true that I'm one of lucky persons out there to have a permanent job with good friends around. The office is near from my house and the salary is good as well.

However I'm not going to lie by saying I really love my job or it's the best thing I experience. Because it's not.

I don't fall in love with it. Not even for the slightest.

Please note that it doesn't mean I don't do my job sincerely. I do my best with whatever I can because it's my job.

It's not that the job is bad but I guess my passion is just not in this place.

I read somewhere before that it's not impossible to make 'what you love - your passion' as your job. However I also read the opposite topic that 'do what you love' is a really bad advice career.

I actually must agree with both articles.

When you don't love your job, there is this part of you which doesn't feel satisfied with everything. Something is missing and you have no idea how to fill the emptiness.

Oh, yes, I am suffering it as well.

However it is also true that 'passion is not something you follow'. One said 'passion is something that will follow you as you put in the hard work to become valuable to the world'. And it makes sense, right?

Future is a really important thing and so does your passion but, well, career passions are rare.

Just because you love it, doesn't really mean you can live with it as your root of life. It's possible but there's no kind of scientific formula for the result.

What I'm trying to say here is I don't regret this job I have now. I'm very grateful despite the fact I'm not having my dream job.

Why?

Simply because I know there are so many things I still don't understand and I must know them in times. Teamwork, interpersonal skill, communication, leadership, and so many to mention.

How could I think like that?

Because Information System is also not my favorite choice to have as a major during college days but, if I didn't go on with it, I would never met all people in HIMSISFO, people who had changed my life so much.

That's why I know these moments are moments I need to treasure.

One day I will look back and be thankful for having this job.

Hopefully when I have my dream job...?

;)

How about you?

Anyway, I want to give a very happy birthday greeting to Valentcia Trifonia who celebrates her twenty-third birthday today!

Thanks for being a really good friend for me.

I wish you all the best in life and may happiness be your best companion.

God bless you.

credit goes to here and here and here and here

 

 

As a starter for this blog post, I'm going to state that I had been quite curious with this movie for a while. I don't really remember when I saw the trailer for the first time but somehow curiosity stayed in me.

However the movie wasn't played on cinemas in my country so I just let it slipped away and, all of coincidences, I saw that it would be on television.

I have two reasons to watch this movie.

The first one is Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock are cast as the parents. The second is it actually brought up the September 11 attacks incident.

Just for an intermezzo, the September 11 attacks, or sometimes referred as 9/11, are series of terrorist attacks upon the United States in New York City and the Washington, D.C. areas on September 11, 2001.

The World Trade Center collapsed that day.

Almost 3000 people died in the attacks and the damage was horrible. The news broke out worldwide and I was only ten years old at the moment and, to be honest, I didn't really pay attention.

However, as I grew up and learned to know about world issues, I came to wonder why these terrible incidents could happen, to care more about the world even just for the slightest, and not to close my ears from the bad news around.

Now, go to the movie itself, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, this two-hour-movie delivered quite a simple storyline but interesting enough for me. If you don't like drama, you probably will not really into this movie.

With Oskar Schell, the nine-year-old protagonist, who lost his father, Thomas Schell, during the September 11 attack, the movie started with flashbacks, showing that Oskar was curious about almost everything.

He was smart but not an extrovert kid. When he accidentally broke a blue vase in his father's closet, he found a key in an envelope with the word "Black" on it.

Oskar then secretly planned to meet every person with "Black" as their family names, total 427 Blacks, to find what the key fits because, he wanted to believe, it's his father's last message for him.

To make it short, I was amazed by this movie for a simple message delivered by the moments Oskar met new people during his 'journey'.

It's all up to you if you want to tell your stories or want to listen to others'.

It might be a fun story or a sad one, or maybe it's just a general but it could be inspirational or even tragic story.

I also reminded that words could hurt you so much, especially when they came from someone you really cared about.

For example, Oskar actually said to his mother, due to his emotional state, that he wished it was her in the building instead of his father.

Could you even imagine if your beloved one said that to you?

However I also should remember that silence could heal your heart.

In this movie, Oskar met a mysterious man who didn't talk because of his childhood trauma of his parents' death in World War II. He communicated through written notes and he didn't really talk about his own opinion but, he became a really good companion for Oskar.

He listened to him and did what he could do for the boy and it's all what Oskar needed.

In the end, not everything you wants to happen will be a happy ending but, like what a famous quotation said,

It's not about the destination. It's about the journey.

If you open up your mind, there are lessons you should learn during your life journey.

The question is... will you try to listen and start to tell your stories as well?

credit goes to here and here and here