Sunday, July 07, 2013

‡ Friendship: 3 Thoughts ‡

Whatever I write here is purely my opinion about my own life and all. No hating, no bashing. Just simply what I think from my point of view so, if you're willing to read this post -- which I really appreciate, feel free to disagree with me.

Everyone has their own opinion, right?

So, here's the thing. Friendship. What do you have in mind when I mention that one word?

Childhood friends. Schoolmates. College friends. Colleagues. Birthday parties. Hanging out on weekend. Going on a trip together. Doing crazy stuff. Exchanging stories. Reunion. And more.

As for me, if I must break down my friendship stories, they will be something like these:

Elementary school - the days when I barely thought about anything. Playing around with every kid I met at school. Having fun during break time. Celebrating birthdays at mall with other kids. I just befriended anyone I could.

Junior high school - here's the moment I came to call someone as best friend. Okay, not someone. In fact I still have five persons I acknowledge as my best friends. We rarely meet other. Around once in a year but, for me, it's not about how frequent we meet each other. We appreciate our own lives and, when we're together, we appreciate our friendship which lasts so long.

Senior high school - I realized that the world is simply not as innocent as I thought. I'm not saying I hate my high school days. I treasure so many moments, met a lot of different friends, but, to be honest, I don't really know if I have anyone to call as my best friend nor they think of me as one. For some people. high school is unforgettable. For me, high school taught me life is not easy.

College - Irreplaceable. That's the word I will use to describe my friendship moments during college days. I wrote some posts about HIMSISFO, the student organization I joined for around three years, and the friendships I have with each of the members are just amazing. I also have classmates who I still meet so frequently up until today.

Now, to the 3 thoughts I mention in the title.

#1. Good friends will always stick with you through anything
This sounds cliche but this statement also becomes a mindset for some people. Books and movies display this kind of thought. A friend who runs through the rain for you, someone who will stay up till the morning to give you a birthday surprise, people who will sacrifice their weekend just because you ask them to.

I'm not saying that it's stupid or ridiculous. I think it's sweet but I don't think it's a necessary. Of course I want them to be with me when I need them but, hey, they have lives to live. Besides it's not only me who have problems. Maybe, when they need me, I'm not there for them too so, well, no hard feeling if they don't do what best friends do in movies.

For an example, like what you know, we're different from other people. I like reading books, my friend don't. They like drinking, I don't. I like Korean stuff, they don't. They like make-ups and beauty stuff, I don't. I'm cool with it. Why?

Because when I want to go to bookstores, they'll go with me. When I tell them about watching Korean concert, they'll listen to me. So when they talk about drinking, I open my ears for them. When they want to look for beauty shop, I'll walk in with them.

They don't need to stick with me just because I want them to.

But I know they'll be there when I need them the most.

#2. A good friend never talk about you behind your back
It's never good to talk bad about people behind them. Not to mention if it's your own friend. Oh, I went through that already and it felt awful. However, note the point, it's talking bad which is not right. Bashing, hating, looking down. Good friends don't talk about us as annoying and childish person when they tell the otherwise in front of us.

I, myself, think it's totally fine to talk about your own friends behind them. I do that sometimes. Like what I said in previous point, we're so different that sometimes I just don't get the reason. I complaint, we discuss, and we reach one point. I appreciate differences because I think that's definitely what make a friendship even stronger.

If they tell me what they don't like about me, it's fine. I'm not perfect. If you expect your friends to give you sweet words and compliment, you're not going to be a better person. Well, sometimes I also have bad thoughts like the possibility of them not thinking of me as a best friend, that they don't like me but choose to keep silence.

You know what?

My faith in them breaks the doubt to pieces.

#3. It's the best to have a lover who can be your best friend at the same time
Unlike the two points above, I agree with this thought. It's like one of the most wanted point in a boyfriend or girlfriend you want. Or at least some people think so but, perhaps, it depends on your favorite dating style as well.

What I'm going to add in the statement is "...and someone who can blend in with my best friends."

Okay, most of dating couples will prefer to have weekends with their loved ones and I don't think it's strange but, as strange as it sounds, I would love to spend weekends with him and my best friends too. Because the hours I spend with them just to do nothing, wandering around just to spend times together, having lunches and dinners together and have a good laugh... I don't think I'll let those moments slip away for romantic moments.

Nah, I'm not a romantic type. I don't have a boyfriend now so you can say I'm writing this because I don't know how it feels yet but, from my experience, I don't think this opinion of mine will ever change. Besides isn't it better to have ten people having fun than two person only?

Well, in the end of this post, I just want to say thanks to all of my friends who have been parts of my life. They made me who I am today. They filled my pages of life story and I keep them in heart. Sometimes I'm not the best friend you can have but, just so you know, you're my friends and this can't be argued over.

For all the good days.
For all the difficult moments.
For all the joy we shared.
For all trouble we faced.

Thanks God, for being so good to me with all the amazing people around me.

Thanks, my friends. :)

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

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