Tuesday, July 29, 2014

‡ Society for Us ‡

Written by Erlia Eleciel | 10:24:00 PM

I just read something this afternoon and, after I read it, I gave it a thought.
Just a little, I guess, but I felt the urge to post a blog about it.
Considering how long I've been absent from posting here, I guess it's worth to write.


Ever heard of the encouraging quote "just be yourself"?
Or perhaps "don't give a damn of what people think about you", "be original", or just simply "be you!"?
I read those words here and there.
Not that I'm saying they are no good because, yes, they serve their objectives well: to encourage people.

Me, too, is no different. I like those words.
I have a very low self-esteem despite putting pride as my highest mistake most of the times (trust me, I'm trying my best to get rid of this lack of confidence, but, well, things take time).

If people ask me what I'm good at, I don't know the answer.
I can cook but it's just so-so. I can speak English but it's at the average state. I can write but never produce anything very good. I have a work but I can't learn very fast like the others. I'm just an average person at every field I do.
A good friend told me that it's my strength; knowing so many fields and work them because not everyone could do it but, then again, my negative thinking always takes afterwards.

What does it have to do with the quote "just be yourself"?



they told her she was ugly
so she believed it
(even though she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes upon)

they told her she was loud
so she stopped speaking
(even though her wise words commanded my attention)

they told her she was dumb
so she stopped thinking
(even though she had the most brilliant and curious mind I have ever encountered)

they told her she had no talent
so she stopped having fun
(even though she could light up an entire room with her energy)

they told her she was lazy
so she stopped sleeping
(even though her life was the nightmare)

they told her she was too quiet
so she made small talk
(even though the voices in her head never ceased to quiet)

they told her she was too sad
so she faked another smile
(even though she was far from being happy)

they told her she wasn't enough
so she became nothing
(even though she was everything to me)


In my opinion, no matter how many times we remind ourselves that we just need to be original, to ignore the words of disagreement and all, we live in a world of different people.
We live in a society which has many different opinions; some might like us and some might don't because we can't make everyone happy.

After all, we, human beings, are social creatures.

We thrive in community.
We connect with one another.
We see what we don't have in others.
We understand about what we don't know from them.
We talk about ourselves to them.
We listen to their words.

True that everything returns to us again; whether you want to agree with them or just ignore their thoughts.
Then again, will it ever stop?


Society does have big impacts in our lives.

Every word, even the little talk, might affect someone else; for better or for worse.


"Your sister is prettier than you."
"You talked too much. Can you shut up?"
"How can you be so stupid?"
"Can you do anything right?"
"Do something useful, you lazy head!"
"Talk about something. Don't be an anti-social."
"You're too gloomy and melancholy."
"You can't do anything better than him."

Those words could just pass some people but those exactly some words might leave scars on others, as if the world couldn't accept them the way they are.
I'm not going to say I am a saint who never hurt other by words because, even though I don't realize it, I'm sure I have done that and I'm not proud of it.
Nevertheless, I want to avoid hurting others because I know how painful it feels. Like I said, it could leave scars.

Words hurt.
They don't make you bleed. They don't give you visible scars.
But they are painful when we are fed up with hurting, cutting words.

It's alright to give criticism but, remember, criticize with understanding.
You give input for make someone better, not the otherwise.
Everyone has good in them.

We're definitely not perfect but we need to try to be the best for ourselves.
Sometimes it's funny how society tells us to be ourselves yet they tell us that it's the 'wrong' way to be ourselves; really, God loves us the way we are, so love yourself too.
It's okay to make mistake. It's okay to be different. It's okay to listen to people. It's okay to change to be better for others.

But, like a quote said, don't just be good to others.

Be good to yourself too.

;)



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Friday, May 23, 2014

‡ 15 Signs: Do You Love What You Do? ‡

Written by Erlia Eleciel | 10:05:00 AM

What is your passion?



Mine is writing. Well, I believe it is ever since I was a kid but, due to my confidence crisis, I don't know if I have talent to be the compatible partner for my passion.

Some said passion means loving what you do.

However, the next question is, do you love what you do genuinely... or do you just pretend and try to love it?

Here's an article I read this morning. I'd love to share this short read with you. Hopefully it can spark a little bit of your passion. ;)



15 Revealing Signs You Genuinely Love What You Do

Passion and purpose -- in short, doing what you love -- can be difficult to find. Some people search forever. Some gain remarkable skills and talents only to think, I'm great at this so why don't I feel successful? Others, even after building successful businesses, suddenly think, Hold on, this is just not me.

Though we would all like to be happier at work, at times it's easy to miss the work-we-love forest for the irritation trees. So I asked Dharmesh Shah, co-founder of HubSpot (No, 666 on the Inc. 5000 in 2013) and a guy who has spent a tremendous amount of time thinking about doing what he loves and creating a company his employees love, how he knows he loves his work.
See what you think. Though some of the following may not be true all of the time, when you love what you do, many should be the case much of the time. There's a results chart at the end, so keep track of how many apply to you:

 
1. You don't struggle to stay disciplined; you struggle to prioritize.
Your problem definitely isn't staying busy and on task. Getting going isn't an issue. Your problem is you have so many things you want to do, you struggle to decide what to do first.

2. You think, I hope I get to... instead of, I hope I don't have to...
When you love your work, it's like peeling an onion. There are always more layers to discover and explore. When you hate your work it's also like peeling an onion--but all you find are more tears.

3. You don't talk about other people; you talk about the cool things other people are doing.
"I hear Chad just invested in a startup. What are they working on?"
"I can't believe Angie won their business back; I'd love to know how she did it."
"Cecilia developed a new sales channel. Let's ask her how we can best leverage that."

When you love your work, you don't gossip about the personal failings of others. You talk about their successes, because you're happy for them (which is also also a sign you're happy with yourself.)

4. You think about what you will say, not how you will say it.
You don't have to worry about agendas or politics or subtle machinations. You trust your team members--and they trust you.

5. You see your internal and external customers not as people to satisfy but simply as people.
You don't see customers as numbers. They're real people who have real needs. And you gain a real sense of fulfillment and purpose from taking care of those needs.

6. You enjoy your time at work.
You don't have to put in time at work and then escape to "life" to be happy. You enjoy life and enjoy work. You feel alive and joyful not just at home but also at work. When you love your work, it's a part of your life.

7. You enjoy attending meetings.
No, seriously, you enjoy meetings. Why? Because you like being at the center of thoughtful, challenging discussions that lead to decisions, initiatives, and changes--changes you help make happen.

8. You don't think about surviving. You think about winning.
You don't worry much about your business failing. You're more worried about your business not achieving its potential. And you worry about whether you're making as big an impact as you can. Those are good worries.

9. You're excited about what you're doing, but you're more excited about the people you're doing it with.
Why? They're smart. Passionate. Confident. Funny. Dedicated. Giving. Inspiring.

10. You hardly ever look at the clock.
You're too busy making things happen. And when you do look at the clock, you often find that the time has flown.

11. You view success in terms of fulfillment and gratification, not just money.
Everyone wants to build something bigger. Everyone wants to benefit financially. Yet somewhere along the way, your work has come to mean a lot more to you than just a living. And if you left your business, even if for something that paid more, you would miss it. A lot.

12. You leave work with items on your to-do list you're excited about tackling tomorrow.
Many people cross the fun tasks off their to-do lists within the first hour or two. You often have cool stuff--new initiatives, side projects, hunches you want to confirm with data, people you want to talk to--left over when it's time to go home.

13. You help without thinking.
You like seeing your employees succeed, so it's second nature to help them out. You pitch in automatically. And they do the same for you.

14. You don't think about retirement, because retirement sounds boring… and a lot less fulfilling.

15. Your business is a business you would want your children to run.
There may be aspects of your business you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, much less your kids: insufferable customers, unbearable employees, difficult working conditions, uncertain long-term prospects.

If you would say to your child, "No, I would never want you to have to deal with that," why do allow yourself to continue to deal with that?
Naturally, you want your kids to be happy. You also deserve to be happy. List the problems and then fix the problems.

 
How many of the above statements apply to you and your business?

 
If you said:

0-4: You need to find a line of work. Life is too short.

5-8: You don't hate your work but don't love it either. What can you do differently?

9-12: You really enjoy your work and the people you work with.

13-15: You are deeply, madly in love with your work! (And your friends are jealous!)

Original article: here



Credit for the image(s) goes to the original owner(s)

 

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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

‡ Melukis Senja ‡

Written by Erlia Eleciel | 10:36:00 PM

Blog post ini dibuat dalam rangka mengikuti
Lomba Menulis FLASH FICTION ‘Perempuan & Senja’.



Link to the original article here


__________



Melukis Senja

“Aku tidak suka senja.”

Begitu katamu dulu saat pertama kali kita melihat matahari terbenam bersama.

Aku memilih diam tapi kau mengerti arti keheninganku. Kau selalu mengerti apa yang tidak pernah sanggup kusampaikan lewat kata-kata.

“Aku tidak mengerti apa yang orang sukai dari pemandangan matahari terbenam. Aku tidak mengerti apa keindahan cahaya yang menghilang perlahan. Bukankah menurutmu fajar lebih indah dibanding senja?”

Fajar.

Kau lebih menyukai fajar, momen pada saat matahari terbit di ufuk timur. Bagimu fajar seperti cara dunia ini mengingatkan kita bahwa ada hari yang baru lagi untuk dijalani, bahwa kita masih memiliki harapan seperti matahari yang selalu bersinar menyambut kita setiap pagi.

Bagiku, kau adalah fajar.

Awalnya kupikir kau adalah angin.

Hanya butuh beberapa detik bagiku untuk berharap bisa bertemu denganmu kembali setelah pertemuan pertama kita, seperti halnya anak kecil yang ingin merasakan hembusan angin sepoi di sore hari. Senyum lembutmu seolah berkata, “Sampai jumpa lagi.”

Di duniaku yang selalu dipenuhi oleh suara keramaian, entah sejak kapan, hanya suaramu yang mencapaiku. Mungkin kau bukan lagi sekedar angin sejak kau menyapaku dan menanyakan namaku. Mungkin kau sudah menjadi secercah cahaya saat kau memuji lukisan bunga mawarku. Mungkin kau telah menjadi matahari bagiku tanpa kita berdua sadari.

Aku tidak pernah memintamu untuk duduk di sampingku saat aku melukis tapi di sisiku lah kau berada. Aku tidak pernah menuntutmu untuk menceritakan apa saja yang kau lalui setiap minggu karena aku tidak bisa menceritakan hari-hariku namun, tanpa mengenal bosan, kau selalu berhasil membuatku tertawa kecil.

Tahukah kau bahwa senyummu setiap kali aku tertawa membuatku merasa dunia terasa lebih hangat?

Kesendirian yang selalu menjadi sahabatku selama ini digantikan olehmu. Perlahan tapi pasti, seperti halnya matahari yang selalu kembali bersinar di pagi hari, aku mengharapkanmu layaknya manusia yang tak sabar menanti hari baru.

Tidak pernah aku bertemu dengan orang sepertimu, yang bisa mengerti apa yang tidak kukatakan, yang tidak menganggapku membosankan karena keheningan yang kuberikan. Kau bahkan memahami bagian hatiku yang tidak ingin kuakui. Seperti layaknya sebuah buku, kau membacaku dengan mudah.

Hanya saja buku itu tidak kau baca hingga selesai.

“Lukisan senja? Untukku?”

Matamu membelalak terkejut saat melihat semburat warna jingga pilihanku di atas kanvas yang masih berwarna putih sebulan lalu. Jantungku berdetak lebih cepat daripada biasanya padahal kali ini keheningan, sahabat lamaku, kembali lagi bersamaku.

Satu langkah, dua langkah, tiga langkah. Kau semakin mendekati lukisanku dan akhirnya memilih menyentuhnya dengan jemarimu.

Mengapa kau tidak memujiku seperti biasanya? Mengapa kau biarkan keheningan yang selalu kau lenyapkan dengan mudah mengisi waktu kita? Apakah karena lukisanku terlalu sederhana dibanding lukisan lain yang pernah kau lihat?

Apakah karena aku melukis senja yang tidak kau suka?

“Indah.”

Tanpa melihatku, kau ucapkan satu kata itu dengan pelan.

Rasanya ada yang mengambil udara dariku. Nafasku tertahan saat akhirnya mata kita bertemu. Bibirmu membentuk sebuah senyum bahagia sebelum kau ucapkan terima kasih atas hadiah ulang tahunmu yang begitu istimewa dariku.

“Sulitkah melukis senja?”

Pertanyaanmu hanya membuatku tersenyum lirih.

Sulit.

Senja yang sempurna hanya bertahan beberapa detik setiap harinya. Oleh karena itu, setiap harinya, aku akan duduk di teras rumahku yang menghadap pantai, menanti matahari perlahan menghilang dari pandangan. Setiap harinya, aku mengabadikan beberapa detik senja itu dalam ingatanku, untuk mengubahnya menjadi nyata di atas kanvasku.

Semua itu sebanding dengan senyuman yang kau berikan padaku.

Sayangnya senyuman itu bukanlah senyuman yang mengetahui adanya perasaan cinta yang tertuang di setiap sapuan kuas hingga lukisan itu menjadi sempurna.

Bukan sempurna karena senja yang bisa diabadikan dalam lukisan. Bukan sempurna karena hasil lukisanku yang masih jauh dari karya seorang maestro.

Sekedar sempurna karena ketulusan hatiku untuk menyampaikan betapa aku mencintaimu.

Namun kau tidak tahu.

“Kau memang sahabat terbaikku. Terima kasih.”

Sahabat.

Hanya itulah aku bagimu.

“Adikmu juga pasti akan sangat menyukai lukisan senja ini. Akan kuperlihatkan padanya segera.”

Adikku. Kekasihmu. Orang yang begitu kusayangi seperti aku menyayangimu. Sosok yang membuatku memilih menjadi senja yang hanya sementara karena, aku tahu, dialah fajar bagimu.

“Aku jadi menyukai senja karenamu.”

Lalu kau berlalu untuk menemuinya dan, seperti hari-hari sebelumnya, aku berdiri sendirian, menunggu senja yang terasa lebih sedih dan sepi dari biasanya.

Rasanya aku tidak ingin melihat senja lagi.

Kemudian, seolah langit mengerti, hujan pun turun.

Tetes hujan pun menyembunyikan air mataku.

Beritahu aku. Salahkah bila aku tidak menyukai senja lagi?

Karena senja mengingatkanku padamu.


☆  END  ☆

 

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