Saturday, February 08, 2014

‡ Simply Complicated: Edition 1 ‡

Hello, everyone.

Before I start writing down whatever I mean with the post title, let me wish all of us a happy Lunar New Year! Yes, I did celebrate it on 31 January 2014. Hopefully this new year will bring us even brighter and more wonderful moments. ;)

Also, just doing a quick recap, January is pretty much a colorful month to start 2014.

After kidnapped until the first morning of New Year and going for dinner to PIK at the evening, I had the chance to watch "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" (RECOMMENDED! You should watch this movie!) with one of my best friend (who is also one of my most favorite authors) whom I knew since elementary school, Chris, on the first Monday of 2014.

I went to Singapore for 4 days and 3 night with my Mom (I considered it as a belated Mother's Day's present for her) on 12 to 15 January 2014 (FYI, I went to Puncak on 10 and 11, along with cold and headache). Meanwhile part of Jakarta was attacked with flood. The flood filled the first floor of my house again on 15 to 18. It happened again on the next week and then again two or three days ago (do not ask me what is wrong with my environment; have no idea).

Good news? My one-package-friend, Brenda, told me that she will be graduated officially from her second university (yes, second it is) tomorrow on 8 February 2014! Congratulations, my soulmate! You're indeed a magical person!

Okay. That's all for the January recap. Now move on to my post title.

I just feel like blogging tonight yet I don't really know what I'm going to write. This post will be somewhat similar to the Trivia About Me here but, well, perhaps a little bit longer and detailed.

So... shall we start this random post of mine?

Here's the intermezzo.

Some said that women are complicated. I often heard that women have hearts as deep as the ocean. Men often complain about this and, knowing that (most) men are pretty simple regarding everything, I can understand the complaining. I really do because, even though I'm a woman, I still find that women's complexity is very amusing most of the time.

Anyone's here with me?

I am not going to deny that I'm quite complicated as well yet, from my very own opinion, I find myself somehow simple. How simple am I? How far do I go in complicated level?

I am an introvert who loves to talk and meet new people.

For people whom I just meet, some might guess I'm an extrovert but, no, I'm a pure introvert.

I love to spend my time alone, reading book, writing something, listening to music. Sometimes I even go to the cinema to watch movies alone. I can spend hours walking around (or at the bookstores) without bothering whether I have companion or else.

However I also love to have new experiences, meeting new people with different personalities. I love to share stories and opinions, having more perspectives in life for various aspects. Sure I prefer spending my weekends over with my close friends just to do nothing (or watching whatever videos at their places or going for random walk at nearby malls or anything else), but I really don't mind to try something new that interests me.

I'm not going to acknowledge myself as a very good listener but I guess I'm not a bad one either. I like to listen when others talk. I keep myself to think from different point of views at the same time. I also like to exchange thoughts with others, having the desire to know about what they think about my thought and more.

But (yes, there's a but here) I don't just talk to whoever around me.

I am not picky when it comes to friendship but I do have my personal preferences when we're talking about best friends. For me, the friendship level starts from an acquaintance to a friend to a good friend to a best friend

Okay, I'll talk about trust on next edition.

I am very positive toward others but have the bad habit of self-blame.

This is possibly just my own personal opinion but, among my friends, I'm quite positive thinking. When one does something bad, I try my best to think of a good reason behind the act.

"Maybe he is having a trouble..." "I think she didn't mean it that way..." "They are busy..."

Whenever my friend is too emotional up to the state that he/she starts to blame the people, I usually react calmly, telling him/her that we're supposed to be objective when facing a trouble. Sure, being subjective is not a sin but, well, like one once said, everyone is fighting their own war everyday so we don't need to act like we're the ones with biggest problem on the Earth, do we?

Unfortunately this positive-thinking-attitude of mine doesn't apply for myself.

To be honest, I think I'm better in throwing complaints against myself instead of feeling proud of what I've done. When something goes wrong, I put the blame on myself just because I think it makes everything feels better. Weird, eh?

When someone asks me a question and I can't give an answer, I feel that it's my fault.
When someone needs my help but I'm not able to do it, I feel that it's my fault.
When someone has expectation from me but I can't fulfill it, I feel that it's my fault.
When someone ends a conversation when I think it's not finished yet, I feel that it's my fault.
When someone points out my mistake even though he/she tells me it's alright, I feel guilty.

I guess I just have the principle to never blame others for a problem but, then again, I still need someone to be accused of for the wrong. I choose myself over everyone else. I guess it's the most possible answer.

No, it's not a good habit. It's definitely a bad one. Some of my friends have reminded me of this but I think it will take quite a while for me to get rid of this habit. I'll try my best to decrease it but, no worry, I rarely display this too much to people around me.

Unless I put my faith upon you. Let's talk about it on the next edition, okay?

Until then, people. Have a blessed life. ;)

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