Ministry of Zero

Have you ever felt like someone just threw you to the deepest abyss,
making you thought that the world was so unfair towards you,
that you believed it was so heartbreaking, leading you to what might call as hatred?

I had. A lot of times actually.
That kind of feeling probably came in a very simple but annoying way.

For an example, you are facing an issue that you can't solve even though you have tried for three hours.
Then you have a smart friend, who you think can help you to get rid the issue.
Everyone ask you to let him help, knowing how gifted he is.

You ask, expecting a great answer that make you think that your burden will go away.
He shows no interest at all; in fact, it's obvious he doesn't really want to do what you ask him to.
For a moment he looks after your explanation and, a few minutes later, he tells you a possible cause of the issue.

But that's that.

Another hour passes by and you ask him once again with an awkward grin, "Can't you help me to finish this?"

"No," that's the answer you get.

Anger. Disappointment. Sad.

Annoying, isn't it?

You turn to another friend and she doesn't give you a better answer.
At this point I think you will come to a thought like this: "It will be easy for you! Why don't you just help me?!"

I went through this situation and I was desperate, thinking that maybe I would never solve the issue.
How stupid I was, how useless I was, and how foolish I was.

However another friend came to me and gave me a hint; a hint that she didn't really sure of.
As if I was gathering pieces of puzzle, with her hint and what I could do,
I tried to show her what the smart one showed to me, the possible cause which was not clear enough to help me.

She made an idea out of it and, with what I knew from the previous similar issue, we tried to piece them altogether.
And, in the end, I solved the issue.
No, we solved the issue.

Strange enough, I felt relieved that the smarts didn't help me.
Sure I would feel good after that but I still believe they are trying to tell me something, to teach me something that I should try to understand.

To try a little bit longer. To think a little bit harder. To have a faith more in myself. To stop being too depending on others when I could be on my own.

It's like you're going down to the deepest place in the world and someone lifted you up to the highest cloud.

Now, will you just wait for that 'someone' to come... or will you be that 'someone' yourself? ;)