Ministry of Zero

So, like what I wrote on the previous post, I spent my time with reading books during the flood.

One of the books I bought weeks ago is "The Time Keeper", written by Mitch Albom.

For all of you who came across this random post, just for your random information, reading book is one of my most favorite hobbies.

However romance novels are not in my lists. I do read them sometimes but... I just can't make them my favorites for an unknown reason.

Fantasy is my favorite genre. Speak about Harry Potter as the example.

I also go for inspirational book. Chicken Soup for the Souls, Life's Golden Ticket by Brendon Burchard, or books by Jon Gordon.

Mitch Albom is an American best-selling author. He is notable for "Tuesdays with Morrie" and "The Five People You Meet in Heaven".

The Time Keeper is his newest book and I read it in less than half day, simply mean that I love the book that I didn't want to stop reading it until I finished.

The story delivers a simple plot with three people as the main characters.

There is no complex word to confuse my dictionary so I think you don't need to think hard while reading it; all you need it is to reflect what's written with your ongoing life.

One who counted the gift from God.

One who refused the time given to her.

One who wanted more of his time.

There are many quotes those make me question myself:

"Have I done my best till this moment?"

"Do I appreciate time I have received?"

"Why do human never treasure what they have until they're gone?"

What I'm trying to tell here is...

Go and read the book.

Tell me what's your opinion later. ;)

It's well written and powerful at a point where you will be reminded that time is a gift from God and, even though human made his way to measure the gift, it's still a gift that you can't control.

All we can do is to do what we can when we have the chance.

Credit goes to here and here

Why do I put the above quote at the opening here?

For the intermezzo, let me write down about what had happened for the past week in my life.

At the beginning of the week, everything was normal but everything turned upside down on Tuesday night.

Rain kept on pouring the town without mercy while one of my friends at office needed to stay till late to finish a really important task. My mother called me and said that maybe I couldn't return for tonight because of the rain and flood.

I ended up staying at a nearby hotel with my friend after staying at office till 2 AM. We returned to the office at 8 AM on Wednesday, continued to work till 7 PM before we returned to our houses.

That's when I realized that flood had gotten inside my house for around 20 centimeters or so but I kept telling myself that tomorrow morning would be alright.

Unfortunately rain betrayed my wish and the flood increased and increased.

I ended up with blackout at 11 PM on Thursday, trapped on second and third floor of my house while flood took the whole first floor.

On Friday, rain became heavier and flood increased in no time, causing us to be hopeless.

The situation continued until Sunday at 2 PM; we survived with limited water, Indomie, and eggs everyday.

I spent my time with reading books at daytime and did nothing at nighttime in the darkness. It's very uncomfortable especially at Saturday night when a fire incident happened only 1 kilometer away from my house.

That's quite a surprising situation. Thanks God people managed to calm the fire and there's no victim but, well, it did make me panic somehow.

When the electricity returned, I was really happy. People asked me how I could survive for 95 hours without electricity, without almost nothing at all.

Actually I was surprised by myself. I also wondered why my mother, the one who always complained that she couldn't sleep if the air conditioner was not cold enough, could survive the nights without it.

This is how I will link the first quote with my intermezzo.

People often said "I couldn't do it" or "It's impossible for me" or "I could only do it if...".
We put limits for ourselves, announcing them to the world that we have our own limits.

Here we must remember that we have what we called instinct to survive.

Perhaps it's too... far in our topic.

So let me give examples in my case.

I used to think that blackout for one day would make me suffer to the maximum state but, hey, I lived on for four days without complaining much. The same went for my mother.

Because the limitations we made are what we thought we could do and don't when, in fact, we probably could do it when we're pushed to the corners.

Have you ever experienced that?

When you did something you never thought you could and looked back, wondering how you could do all of those?

Credit goes to here and here

So I found this link from a friend of mine at Twitter.

Thanks to @astridfadil for sharing the link.

If you don't know, I always have interest in personality tests so, test regarding how your brain works is not an exception.

Therefore I downloaded the application "brainworks.exe" and ran it.

It's a simple self-assessment test and I think it just took some minutes for me.

I answered all 20 questions in one go before I received the result.

As the introduction, some of you may already know about left and right hemisphere of our brains. One have the tendency to be more dominant and this affects you in a way your probably don't know.

This exercise is also said to help us determine whether we react in a more auditory or visual manner, regarding our learning style.

Well, my result is in below picture and I'll give the review after it. ;)

I am a strongly left-hemisphere dominant and a predominantly visual learner, a unique blend of characteristic, it said.

Typical of the left hemisphere dominant person, you are organized, precise, focused on details and logical. You seek or assign meaning to your experiences as part and parcel of the way that you learn.

In general, your approach to life and learning is step-wise and emphasizes the functional and pragmatic rather than the symbolic and abstract. You prefer to place things in existing categories as a way of making them familiar and/or controllable.

Combined with this, you are a visual learner. You are active and continuously searching so that you process information rapidly.

As a result, you can be constantly organizing and structuring without necessarily needing to verbalize as a way of guiding yourself. You have a unique ability to see what needs doing and to get it done.

The predominance of your visual learning style implies that you tend not to be reflective and may not pick up on auditory cues including your own "inner voice". Frequently you may find that you can "see" where the other person is going before she/he gets there and this way can be impatient with roundabout language.

Overall, you may find yourself driven and distracted. There is a sense of excitement that attends this combination but also a sense of frustration.

You can have well-defined goals without the ability to articulate them yourself, let alone others.

You can "see" where you are going but not be able to "tell yourself".

As for myself, I do think the result is correct up to 90%. I don't know though if it's just me or not.

I'll let you try and decide whether the test gives a correct result or not. ;)

There is this one word I read on a one-shot story written by an acquaintance tonight. I've seen the word before but I didn't really pay attention at it until now.

Since I was curious about it and, oh yes, I have quite wide range of curiosity when it comes to foreign and unique vocabulary. I may not be advanced in languages but I do love to know more words to be added in my own vocabulary.

Razliubito.

When you type it on Google, it probably would suggest you 'razbliuto' instead.

To be honest I don't know which one is true yet. Please do tell me if you know the correct one.

However I'll use 'razliubito' for the rest of this post for now.

Razliubito.

It's a Russian word which means "the feeling you have for someone you once loved but no longer so now".

This friend of mine described it like a feeling when someone gave you a dress as your birthday present. You're so happy at the moment that you wore it as often as possible.

But then you grew up and you had new dresses and, in the end, you decided to give the dress to someone who needed it more. You helped someone and you didn't need to put the dress at the corner of your wardrobe anymore.

However, there was this feeling whenever you saw the dress one day. You missed it and the memories of you with the dress just crossed your mind.

As for me, when it comes to 'love' as the topic, I'll try to take the word in love life experience.

I am someone who believes that we never stop loving someone.

Even after your heart has been broken into pieces, even if the person made you cried, even if you kept saying that you hated him or her.

It's just you have changed the way you love them; you love them more or less. That's that.

If you said that you have stopped loving them, it means you never loved them in the first place.

You don't stop loving them; you love someone more now that you can't love them the way you loved them before.

That's why I think it's normal when you have a new lover and, one day, you accidentally meet your ex-lover then you have this kind of unexplained feeling; like those good moments when you're together come back to you.

For the current lovers who know about this, some of them may feel betrayed and disappointed. They will be jealous because you miss your ex-lovers and that could possibly mean you still love them. They feel doubt and threat from your past lovers.

Doubt is a human nature and no one can blame us for having doubt over persons who are important in our lives.

However I don't think that this feeling of 'missing those good moments' is wrong. Just like doubt, cherishing good moments is also a human nature.

If your lovers think 'I miss those good moments. I have more happiness with him/her than when I'm with you', then that's when things go wrong. You're free to have doubt afterwards.

But if they have a moment when their happiness from past overwhelmed, don't be mad.

That's called Razliubito.

Have you ever felt like someone just threw you to the deepest abyss,
making you thought that the world was so unfair towards you,
that you believed it was so heartbreaking, leading you to what might call as hatred?

I had. A lot of times actually.
That kind of feeling probably came in a very simple but annoying way.

For an example, you are facing an issue that you can't solve even though you have tried for three hours.
Then you have a smart friend, who you think can help you to get rid the issue.
Everyone ask you to let him help, knowing how gifted he is.

You ask, expecting a great answer that make you think that your burden will go away.
He shows no interest at all; in fact, it's obvious he doesn't really want to do what you ask him to.
For a moment he looks after your explanation and, a few minutes later, he tells you a possible cause of the issue.

But that's that.

Another hour passes by and you ask him once again with an awkward grin, "Can't you help me to finish this?"

"No," that's the answer you get.

Anger. Disappointment. Sad.

Annoying, isn't it?

You turn to another friend and she doesn't give you a better answer.
At this point I think you will come to a thought like this: "It will be easy for you! Why don't you just help me?!"

I went through this situation and I was desperate, thinking that maybe I would never solve the issue.
How stupid I was, how useless I was, and how foolish I was.

However another friend came to me and gave me a hint; a hint that she didn't really sure of.
As if I was gathering pieces of puzzle, with her hint and what I could do,
I tried to show her what the smart one showed to me, the possible cause which was not clear enough to help me.

She made an idea out of it and, with what I knew from the previous similar issue, we tried to piece them altogether.
And, in the end, I solved the issue.
No, we solved the issue.

Strange enough, I felt relieved that the smarts didn't help me.
Sure I would feel good after that but I still believe they are trying to tell me something, to teach me something that I should try to understand.

To try a little bit longer. To think a little bit harder. To have a faith more in myself. To stop being too depending on others when I could be on my own.

It's like you're going down to the deepest place in the world and someone lifted you up to the highest cloud.

Now, will you just wait for that 'someone' to come... or will you be that 'someone' yourself? ;)

Today is the second day of 2013.

During my way back to home from office, I saw random, colorful fireworks on the evening sky. Shining red, green, and blue, sheding lights upon us for a few seconds.

Then a question crossed my mind.

Why would people spend money for fireworks?

Yes, they are beautiful. Those fireworks could make you smile upon their beauty; some may say it's romantic to stand under the night sky which is decorated with fireworks.

But again, you can only enjoy it for a few seconds before it disappear to nowhere, leaving nothing at all.
And there your money goes to.

What make fireworks so special and beautiful?

I don't know what the answer is.
Perhaps each of you has a different answer for me.

However, as for me, I think the fireworks have no beauty when they are not in the dark.
When they are played on the morning or afternoon, no one would appreciate the beauty because we could barely see them.

The night itself makes us realize how beautiful lights could be. Even just for a moment.

Fireworks are the best when they are on the dark sky.

Sometimes we might feel like we're in the deepest darkness where we could do nothing at all.
But, maybe, just maybe, it's because you're destined to shine.

Just like the fireworks.

However it's your choice to let yourself shine or just stay as nothing.

Sounds familiar?
Yes, it reminds me of a song by Katy Perry. ;)

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you?

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through"
- Firework, Katy Perry

The calendar has showed 2013 as its year.

Yep, we already closed the book of 2012 yesterday night and we're going to start a brand new year starting from today.

As the first blog post this year, I'm going to write down my resolution for 2013.

Why do I need to write them here?

Because it's a promise to myself and, well, thanks to my limited memory, sometimes I just need to remind myself as time goes by within words.

Let me start write point by point now. ;)

~ Talk more, do even more ~

Instead of the famous quote 'talk less, do more', I choose this as one of my new year resolutions.

Why?

Learning from my experience, silence sometimes can't be your best friend in journey.

I need to gather courage and express my opinion. If I'm too afraid to talk, then there is no possibility for me to expand my knowledge as well.

Sure some may believe silence is gold but, hey, changes are required.

However as I talk more and manage knowledge from all around me, it also means that I must take action upon my statement.

What good will it do if I only speak of nonsense anyway?

So, yes, I will try to be more talkative professionally and show what I can do in action.

~ Save more, spend less ~

Ever since I started to work on March 2012, I was still not aware of future saving.

Well, perhaps it's just me, being a young adult who still wants to enjoy the world all by herself but I realized that it's not all about me anymore.

I manage to save but it's far from enough. Now that my experience in professional work almost reaches one year, I believe I must save even more.

However saving more will not help if I spend more as well so, yeah, I need to spend less.

But only what I need, not what I want. Think about whether the stuff will be useful or not before I pick it on my wishlist.

I still have a long journey ahead and I need preparation for that, right?

~ Write more, read more ~

As someone who loves to spend her time with reading and writing, 2012 is not a busy year for me with my hobbies.

I have at least a dozen of books to finish but I still haven't finished it; letting them to fill my bookshelf one by one.

In 2013 I need to finish all of them and, even better, read more books.

I don't really limit myself from the book genre but I miss reading fantasy novel and encouraging words within them.

Writing is also needed as my mood booster. I didn't write much in 2012 as you can see in my blog history.

Not enough time is just an excuse; all I need is to discipline myself.

If I really love my hobbies, I will do them willingly for sure.

~ Decide, Passion ~

For now I'm working as an ERP Officer who spends Monday to Friday with SAP as the best companion from morning till evening.

I met various people as work partners and more. I learn how to make a decision, to think wisely, and manage myself and others.

Interesting, I guess. I still have a lot to learn.

However it will be a lie if I don't think about something else beside of my current job.

What is my passion?

Am I doing what I love now?

Is this what I want?

To be honest, I still don't know what the answer is so...

...I really want to find the answer within this year.

Those are mine, four things I want to reach before 2013 ends.

How about you? ;)